Laughs

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

You take away the looks, money, intelligence, charm and success and, really, there’s no real difference between me and George Clooney.

A millionaire, a hard hat, and a drunk are at a bar. When they get their beers, they notice a fly in each mug. The millionaire politely asks the bartender for another beer, then proceeds to sip it. The hard hat spills out just enough to get rid of the fly and quaffs the rest. It’s now the drunk’s turn. He sticks his hand into the beer, grabs the fly by the wings, and shouts, "Spit it out! Spit it out!"

References: Reader's Digest